Friday, May 14, 2010

My name is Karyn and I'm an Addict name is Karyn and I'm an addict.  It's not something I'm proud of.  And I'm not ready to admit it to hubs just yet. I have way too much pride to allow that from happening.  I have been on FaceBook for a little over a year now and I can honestly say that I look at my world differently.  It has been the catalyst between my past and present.  I attended my hs 25 yr reunion a year ago.  I found out right after I joined.. And I couldn't wait to see my old friends that I had  recently reconnected with.  We had a Blast!! 

So this past year has been spent continuing those friendship explorations.  And along the way I have had the opportunity to learn vasts amounts of insight into myself.  It's as if the puzzle of my life is being fit together once again..or maybe for the first time?  I am so incredibly blessed.  We still have my 96 yr. old MawMaw so there's that history. Chapter 1: I have just this past week reconnected with a friend from my happiest childhood time.  I adored her little brother so we have been remebering him and all the great times we shared when we lived there.  Very deep pain has occurred since that time, but I am able to look past it and cherish every memory as the catayst for which I was being molded into who I am today.  It was the firmest of foundations and I won't ever feel less than incredibly grateful that I had those experiences. 

Chapter 2 in my life is the place in which we moved to after obvious chapter 1.
Duh!! that was a difficult move and I have been able to thank the wonderful friends I have reconnected with.  It's been wonderful to reconnect with those special friends and share where we have been.

Chapter 3:  The most difficult move of all and into some very harsh times.  But after all is said and done, it has become home.  And for every difficult trial.. it was worth it  And those are the friendships that are the deepest and sometimes most complicated. 

And it has allowed a wonderful experience in that I have been able to share these friendships, finds and times w/my dad.  Both of my parents were extremely gifted and integrity filled educators.  They have touched literally thousands of lives.. in good and often difficult ways.  And it is truly an honor to reconnect with folks from my.and their past who have related the impact my parents sacrifices played in their lives.  FB has allowed a level of honesty and open communication not really found before. 

I see it as a thread that has been weaving all the experiences and chapters in my life thus far together in a remarkably orderly and precise manner in which I can now see them for what they truly were.  And I'm learning things I didn't know along the way about others, myself and us together at times. 

FB can also be a great story buster.  I learned my hs superintendent actually graduated from my first chapter school.  WTH?  And just how did I learn this? Busted!!  Totally busted.. I saw his profile pix w/his grandkids and was curious.  So I proceeded to pull up his profile and saw a strange but yet familiar well.. you know I just had to pull that up and be nosy.. And thankfully I did.. it led me to the motherlode for Chapter 1 in my book..and I was able to reconnect w/my friend's sis...and the purest memories of my life.  Damn.. for once..being nosy can really pay off..  (patting self on back)..which in turn has led to my dad to reconnecting to some of his first students..

My name is Karyn, and I'm a nosy Rosy.... explorer of self...friend to some..nuisance to many...and addict to FB..and I don't presently seek intervention!!  Happy Surfing My Friends!!~~~

Live to Learn

One of the challenges I face as an overprotective mom is balance.  I doubt that anyone would disagree that you can never be too safe.  There are so many incredibly horrific dangers that face our kids these days.  Things that my folks and their peers never had to really consider or think about.  Like wondering off in a store a few aisles ahead to grab a quick forgotten item...Like allowing your kids to explore a park or neighborhood on their own w/out much supervision.  Like not having to fear the motives of those who you encounter, those who live near you and worse yet, recognizing that there may be someone out there who is preying on parents just like you to make that one mistake and go in for the kill.

Nope.. my folks only really had to worry about tainted Halloween candy.  I remember the day as if it were yesterday.  And it sent shock waves down every street in America.  The thought that you needed to possibly get your loot xrayed so you knew it was safe.  We were living in a small city at the time and it changed the way we looked at our neighbors and people we didn't know.  Personally, I think this was a turning point in the beginning of the stranger danger phase that we can't afford to leave behind.  Sad truth is, it's way worse now than ever before.

So my quandry is how do I give my kids the much needed freeedom to explore their world and seek their own adventures while maintaining a safe environment?  Just how much freedom is actually allowed..and what are the parameters.  I will admit that my husband and I disagree on this often.  He is the one that will allow the kids to ride their bikes, scooters and skateboards in our neighborhood on the same road the cars and trucks share.  Those vehicles just zoom past our home way too fast. So John is wonderful to be there to allow them that space and opportunity to be kids.  He rough houses w/them when he can muster enough energy after a brutally gruelling day at work.

On the other hand, I will allow them almost free reign in our backyard.  We are fortunate to have a 1/2 acre where most places where we live can easily get 2-3 homes on that lot size.  It's enclosed with a 4 ft. lattice fence we labored over for a good year to get up.  This provides ample opportunity for 2 very curious and mischevious rugrats room to scale and scout on our neighbors  (who are rarely even home) and the most sought after pet detective capers in the neighborhood.  I try really hard to leave them alone and not hover so they will feel freedom to roam and make up their own fun.  This has and will come w/a price for this Nervous Nellie!  Dad has huge amounts of extremely interesting equipment and left over landscaping supplies to encounter.  And naturally since we have told them repeatedly Not to get into them.. well.. that's like telling UT fans to leave the Aggies alone with their jokes.  Folks it isn't gonna happen.  And a part of me is glad deep down inside.. despite the fact that I can get nail spitting furious when disobeyed w/that stuff. 

Truth be told.. I still live by the mantra "Ignorance is bliss!"..  I just don't really want to know HOW they came up w/some of their capers.  The ladder on top of the wagon that's balancing a chair and leads to a tree is just too nerve wracking for this child.  Do I really want to know what object was used to cut down that plant?  I know that I don't..cause then I get to worrying about all the 'couldas.. and shouldas.. and the Oh Man's!!  But instead I wish I would remember the gratefulness and the praise God's that nothing bad happened. 

Everyone who knows me will wholeheartedly tell you of how uncoordinated this unbalanced, unathletic and pathetically klutzy this child of a coach really is.  Hands down.. zero talent.  However, there is one skill that I got really great at.. and I mean Great when I was younger.  When left to our own devices, I could get myself into the most incredible FUN.. and I mean sheer bliss..  One day my mom locked me out of the house and made me watch my little 2 yr. old brother.  So I decided I had to climb.. yes HAD to Climb the tallest evergreen tree there was next to the alley in our backyard.  So I manage to talk and get little bro up there as well.. SomehowI found something sharp enough to carve our messages into the tree.  And I will proudly admit that my mom literally turned about 4 shades of green when she saw Brett up there..  All she could do was whisper in fear of him falling.  Somehow we got him down unscathed and unhurt.  And then I got a monumental butt chewing!!  But what I learned has stayed with me to this day.  And unfortunately, it has proven that if provoked enough (in my eyes).. I will go to extreme lengths to make my point. But the fact that I scaled that tree ..and we got UP there that day..didn't fall..and didn't hurt myself was a great motivator and encourager.

Another skill I acquired was something I have never come across anyone else as claiming have done on their bucket list.  All the homes in our nieghborhood were massive old two story bohunkers built by previous generation city blue bloods.  We were fortunate to have gotten them when they aged to say 50 yrs. =D
So these homes had awesome places to hide, burrow and explore. And my favorite nieghbor friend lived 2 doors down and his yard was more jungle than landscaped like my own.  So we decided to execute the newest level of excitement.  Today, it would probably be considered extreme sports, but in the 70's it wasn't being done.  It must have been the beginning of my talent for the avante garde!!  We became very proficient at roller skating off the garage roof and onto the cellar door located behind the garage.  It was a perfect location as no one could really see or even think to see what we were doing.  You have to go a certain speed, lift off a certain way angled just so right and carry your body a certain way for the best landing possible.  You only had about 5 ft. of metal cellar door that you could land upon or your face or butt would be kissing some extremely hard surface at a painful speed.  Once you landed on the cellar door, then you proceeded to roll off the door and then shoot airborn for another time period and then roll down the hill and out the gate into the alley. Just prior to exiting the property line it was always best to grab ahold of the massive bamboo plants that framed your prized ending.  

Hah.. this very unathletic uncoordinated girl had finally found something I was actually really great at.  The fun we had soaring through the air and the landing was exhilarating.  There was only two problems: 1. I had finally found something athletic I was pretty darn good at, but I couldn't tell anyone. Cause I knew the minute that little tidbit of info was let out, then my air sailing days were over.  Crap!! Couldn't even brag about it.. proving that in fact.. my skills were completely lacking..  And 2.  the one time I did not land correctly on the cellar door.  Now that's where the learning experience kicked in.  Cause you have never experienced shin pain until you fly through the air with the greatest of ease, only to have your landing gear prematurely hit the ground.. in this case.. shin directly at the most precisely most painful angle of the edge of the said cellar door.  Upon which, your face then slaps the intended target surface area of the door.  Lesson #3:  You gotta hide your battle scars and pain so your most delightful sport won't be spoiled.  Live and Learn People.. Live and Learn

Which leaves me to today:  Read a great quote from one of my favorites, Michael J. Fox "Live to Learn".. how profound.. and proof that the twist of just one little word can make it all different in purpose.  So this is what I want my kids to know..  I hope they find their 'extreme roof skating'..whatever that may be.. But I don't think I can stomach knowing what it might be.  And sometimes, kids can be absolutely courageous, outrageous and completely fearless.. Something we adults need to remember from time to time.  Something else I realized just now.. I have never been able to understand geometry or physics.. But I just realized that I did ace some of it when I was exploring my boundaries.. And I did figure out those skills through tria and error.. Something a text book can not teach!!  And hell.. my shins still hurt just thinking about that ONE miscalculation!! 

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize

they were the big things.

-- Robert Brault