Saturday, May 31, 2008

Oh What a Day!!!


Arghh!! Warning a rant...

Today was a day I'd like to end very quickly. It started with a 2 1/2 yr. old and a bottle of baby powder.. It's been a while since I've had one of these days.. thank goodness.. but they are trying of all your will power and patience. The baby powder was not huge..rather a prelude to the rest of the day..

I had set out w/ grand plans of cleaning the entire house.. and anyone who knows me knows this is HUGE for this chica. Unfortunately, I had to go to the store and pick up a prescription first.. by the time we (the rugrats and I) returned home.. any feasible plan for accomplishment was withering away very quickly. The kids were bickering, arguing and trying and succeeding at driving each other nuts (me included) before the noon hr.

What really irked me was "another" encounter with another company who has decided that they are making our country all the better by outsourcing their customer service. It's all about profit.. not the good of their customers pr employees. And this bothers me to no end. We are losing thousands of jobs to foreign countries when we have qualified people here who need and can work these jobs. Instead, they choose to hire people who can barely speak English who act like robots. They are told to say 1 thing and 1 thing only. It's as if they are robots. They don't understand Americans, could care less about our problems with their companies products and really don't show much intitiative in their own jobs. I seriously doubt they take any ownership in their jobs. Nor do I think that the companies they work for are looking for that quality either. All they are trained to say is 'I am very sorry".. My question is.. sorry for what?? Not caring, for working for pathetic companies who only want your money?

I am very angry. This has been building for a long time. They even take ridiculous names like "Apple", "Sunshine" and "Summer" as their monikor. What really bothers me is the fact that I fear what our country is becoming. How will my kids be able to compete and work for this country when all the jobs have gone overseas? WE wonder why our dollar is flat? Our goods are trash (think lead).. just convince me the Chinese aren't trying to poison our kids!! WE have done it to ourselves by choosing to purchase cheaper foreign products so we can show that we have more. No wonder WalMart is so huge.

My respect for the generation that came during the Depression and WWII is immense. They have gone through hardships I can't even begin to fathom. They were one country and pulled together and sacrificed beyond comfort. And they did it for the good of one common cause. During this time, these circumstances brought on so much intelligence, strength and ingenuity that we today are reaping the benefits. They found ways to make things work and they prospered because of it.

This country is in such an apathetic state it's sad. We bicker, complain and expect the world of the world without even thinking for a second that we are some of the cause of this. Why we have't come up w/ an alternative fuel source within the last 30 yrs. is scary and sad. Did we not see the problems back in the 70's if we didn't change our ways? And this entire fuel issue can and possibly will lead us into another Depression if we are not careful. Why does it always take the dinosaur to make it's presence known after we've been listening to the echoes of the footfalls for a while?

Our children are reaping the disasters of all of this. Will we have wildlife for them to see? Water and fuel for them to sustain life? Maybe if this horrible war had asked us citizens to sacrifice, help out and become a part of the effort, we would be a much stronger country. At least morally and emotionally. Even war has become so separate and far removed. Not to say that I want a war on my land. However, it's become very easy to think that unless we are directly effected like the military families are, then it's not happening on the scale it is. My faith in the government is pretty much shot. Any time a politician suggests a change, then I have learned that the opposite will occur if it's voted through. It's really hard to see a change for the better when the results prove differently.

This is a ramble I know.. With no answers.. It's just that some days really wear on a person.. And I believe that if we don't take a moment to question where we are, reflect upon where we have been, then we are setting ourselves up for disaster later. More people are more interested in the outcome of a sitcom or reality (which isn't very real) show than what's going on in their own lives. Just how are we going to get our liberties back that were taken or so easily given w/out a glance back? And how do we explain all of this to our kids?

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Insights of a 4 yr. old

Our son Marshall blew me away with a conversation we had this week. He is a very deep thinker and always keeps me on my toes.. but this one has taken the cake thus far.

We were discussing the topic of death. We don't call it death since he's only 4; however he understands far more than I ever thought.

He was excited about getting to pick the prayer for snack at his preschool that day. I asked him if he liked the chapel portion they participate in once a week. He replied that he did. He then got very serious and asked me " Mommy, when it's 'our time' and God calls us, can we tell him no, we aren't ready yet?" I explained that no, we don't get a choice when he's ready for us to go live with Him. We have to go then and there because the work He wanted us to do is finished. Puzzled, he then asked "So is that a happy or sad thing?". I then replied that it's both good and sad. That we are very excited and happy to finally be living w/God and Jesus. But at the same time, we are very sad because it means that we will not get to see the people we love again until God calls them home as well. A couple of miles then passed in silence. Marshall then asked me, but it was more like he was certain that this is the way things are. He told me "Mommy, don't you think that God opens up a bright pathwaythrough the stars,like a road for us to go down, so we can meet Him?" "That way, we will know how to get there".

After Marshall said that I got goosebumps and realized an ah ha moment had just occured. . The visual picture my mind conjured up was so incredibly brilliant and beautiful. Thoughts went back to a blog that we had found from a Chilean University astromer and the absolutely gorgeous photographs she had put in her blog. I think we were both thinking about those pictures at that moment.

I told Marshall that his question just provided the best answer I had ever heard and one that I hadn't ever considered so well. This past week some online dear friends and I have been discussing death and loss. It's brought up alot of great discussion and painful feelings as well. And the timing of his insight was incredible... and he even helped some women going through some rough times when I shared his thoughts on the subject.

Ever since Marshall was very little I have always asked him if he knew how much I loved him. He always replied "I know Mom... to the moon and back"... and I say back "No sweetheart.. to the very last star.. and God is still making them as we speak"... it's been his little joke to me for a long time.. teasing me w/ his answer. I think Marshall finally got an inkling of my love for him once he saw those photographs. What a wonderful feeling. I am so in awe of him and his insight.
What a treasure he is and so sensitive and in tune with life!! And he's only 4.. And I can't wait to see where the nurturing of his spirit will lead him.. Just keep praying he stays on the path he's on.. He still has some great lessons in store to teach me I'm certain and anxiously awaiting. And man can this chic use them some days.. One of the most rewarding aspects I never realized in motherhood were all the many many lessons my children would be teaching me. It blows me away sometimes and makes me feel humbled in their presence at times. Just with little tidbits of the life they see in their innocent and unspoiled eyes.. The eyes that I am supposed to live my life by. Maybe there's hope for this chica after all.. LOL

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

double star cluster

Thursday, May 15, 2008



Wow.. What a week.. I'm so glad it's Friday. The kids have driven me totally bonkers this week.. They have been climbing the walls and even tried to push me over that wall for complete anarchy. Truth be told, if I could have gotten away with it, I probably would have gladly JUMPED!! Just to get away and get a break..

Registered our son for Kindergarten today. That certainly conjures up mixed feelings of "woo hoo.. finally some peace" to "oh no.. not yet". I still have a few months to prepare but I know this precious time will fly. Where did those years go? I know we have a great intelligent,sensitive, and highly motivated son. He will be one of the youngest in his class, actually turning 5 on the second day of school. He will do great academically and I'm sure he do great socially. He will do fine I'm sure.. Suppose it's just me not fully wanting to let go just yet..
Reality just hit today.. What a great summer we will have..

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Who's the leader of the club??


Tiny Dancer


Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the bandPretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music manBallerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks out in the streetHanding tickets out for GodTurning back she just laughsThe boulevard is not that bad.

Piano man he makes his standIn the auditoriumLooking on she sings the songsThe words she knows the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real Lying here with no one nearOnly you and you can hear meWhen I say softly slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancerCount the headlights on the highwayLay me down in sheets of linenyou had a busy day today

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the bandPretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music manBallerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sandAnd now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Monday, May 12, 2008

Wings to Fly

"My mother wanted me to be her wings, to fly as she never quite had the courage to do. I love her for that. I love the fact that she wanted to give birth to her own wings."
Erica Jong

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Watch This!!

Our daughter (2 1/2 yrs) has taken this last week to say "Mommy, watch this." It seems to be a prelude to her first dance recital last night. She's been enjoying making funny faces, a very comical look when she's ridiculing me, and any thing else she can to get a reaction from any audience. So why am I so in awe of her last night? Rachel dressed up in her adorable Mickey Mouse costume and danced and entertained along w/ her fellow "mouseketeers" in front of almost 1000 people in a beautiful performing arts center in our community. She hopped, shuffled and danced in her favorite tap shoes like she was doing what she was meant for. Granted, she wasn't the best in the bunch.. But she did hold her own. My amazement was the ease she felt in front of all those people.

I keyed in early on with this child that music was her forte. We were in the Cabela's and she was rocking to the beat at 6 months. And then she got mad at me when she had to be restrained in her carseat during a radio program w/ the Rolling Stones who were coming to our community. So she conceded her situation and flayed her arms and rocked out for over an hr. She was practically climbing and scaling before she could walk.

Last night I remembered my piano recital when I was in 4th grade. I had to learn one number. My parents bought me the most beautiful and costly dress I had ever had. If memory serves me, we performed in a small room in front of just a few people. I made it through my piece, but I was so sick w/ nerves. It was excruciating for this introvert. Seeing Rachel dance last night I couldn't help but think 2 things. (1) my beautiful daughter is so brave and self assured and (2) I was viewing the fact that my daughter was on her way of leaving me one step at a time.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Game & Help Out

Here's a site that helps feed the hungry while you can increase your vocabulary skills..



Living w/ purpose

"Do all you can with what you have, in the time you have, in the place you are."
Nikosi Johnson, 12 yr. old Zula boy living with AIDS

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Ain't this the truth???


gonna try this...


Monday, May 5, 2008

David Bowie - Cat People (Putting out fire)

Sunday, May 4, 2008


Not feeling blue..
Just LOVE this band...

family doodles

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Here it goes...

Ok.. I'm biting the bullet and crossing over the line into "bloggerville". Never in a million years would I have thought I would do this. However, this SAHM has heard the words "ouch", "butthead" and "no" one too many times from her 2 kids (2 and 4). My daily vocabulary has dwindled down to "stop", "time out" and "don't" enough times for me to question my own sanity after my patience has left the premises. Some days I feel like an appliance in my home running on auto pilot. The pilot has jumped the plane and a crash is coming fast. Consequently, these precious days are spiining way too quickly for me stop and take notice of my precious family and blessings... while finding myself just trying to maintain the "maintaining" without stopping to take inventory.

Alice Walker writes in the book "The Color Purple" a beautiful description of God's plan and how we live our lives.
"I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it"... "People think pleasing God is all God care about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back".... "It always making little surprises and springing them on us when us least expect it".. "Everyone want to be loved. Us sing and dance, make faces and give flower bouquets, trying to be loved. You ever notice that trees do everything to git attention we do,except walk?"

This twist of perception can really make a person change the way she looks at things. And my hope is to stop and fully realize all the beauty in my life, while laughing at the ironies and humor in eveyday life, and maybe lashing out at the absurdity of the situations we find ourselves in which we live. The economy, war, and daily battles can really hold a person's energy level and thoughts down. So there... I can't change those, but I can change how I view the things I see. It reminds me of the movie "Life is Beautiful". The gift a loving Jewish father gives to his young son while imprsioned in a concentration camp. He chooses to make the horrific situation into a game so his son doesn't know the tragedy for what it really is. They find the love, humor and distraction in the worst that life has to offer.

Up until this week I had never even read a blog. I've been told by people that some blogs have themes or purposes. How about life's doodles on maintaining sanity? Nothing earth shattering.. just things that interest me.. and a purposeful reason for living the life of a night owl. And hopefully along the way I can catch up on modern technology and gain some skills on this stupid "puter that drives me nuts but I find myself addicted to at times..