Thursday, July 23, 2009

What we remember

It's been quite awhile since my last posting. And a very terminal and deathly dangerous virus caught ahold of our computer and sent it almost to its death. And I lasted officially one whole day without my addictive tool of my trade. Feelings of despair, anxiety and total depression set in and sent me reeling. How had I become so connected and attached to my outward devise that links me to all my friends and foreign lands? The new computer seems so unfamiliar but with rededicated vigor I'm certain this new one and I will make peace and become one. One huge time sucking bond that sends my life into wteckage with the sheer magnitude of time lost and relationships stressed.

So this gut wrenching slow drawn out stretch of time left my mind to wonder about many things. And one of them is the time this obseession that is spent. At the time it seems so vitally important. But once the moment has passed, was the tradeoff
worth it? In some cases the answer would have of be "of course". My favorite cousin and one of my dearest friends and I have reconnected after many many years. My phone bill would be astronomical while in college. We could easily talked for hours. So today we have been blessed with instant messaging. What a godsend that little tidbit of modern technology provides. These days, after I log into my facebook account, I chedck to see if she's on yet. The two hour time difference is well worth the wait and price for staying up way way too late so we can catch up.

I have been so blessed with my friends. We share the type of friendship in which very long periods of time have passed without having conversed. However, we are always able to pick up as if we just spoke the day before. And with such ease. Time has taught me that these friendships are the ones that will sustain me through anything that life throws my way.

Getting back on subject now: All this time got me to thinking about family and Friendships. The ones that keep me going and on path. On the right road you might say. I got to thinking about what is the most important thing in life and what we remember about people. Is it what they said or what they did? Or maybe a combination of things? And do we even remember the most important things that need not to be forgotten? This time of year always reminds me of my maternal grandfather, my Big Daddy. Both of my parents were educators so our summertime was very important. It provided some of the only time we got to spend with my dad since he worked his butt off coaching. The hours are horrific for coaches and I admire him immensely for all of the sacrifices he made for me and our family. And my mom as well, for she was the glue that held all of us together and functioning successfully.

Anyway, summers would be spent with my MawMaw and Bog Daddy. It was the one time of the yeart in which we would not be rushing around with hectic schedules. Still to this day, the mention or even thought of my Big Daddy can send my into tears for my love and missing him are so great. He has been gone for almost 49 years, but it still feels like yesterday wen cancer took him away from us. I used to love to go to his home and wait for him to come home for lunch. We had a ritual of me hiding in the exact same spot everyday and he would pretend to be scared when I jumped out. He loved to laugh and hang out with me. he gave me muy first sip of coffee when I was four. And I still to this day drink it cause it comforts me immensely.

But what I remember most about him was his scent, the cologne he wore and some of the sounds associated with his daily routine.. to be continued.. i'm about to fall asleep...