Monday, April 26, 2010

Ah ha moment~~

This past Friday a friend from hs wrote asking if I had any yearbooks.  It's been wonderful since finding out there is another friend from that time that lives in the same town as me.  And naturally I had the yearbooks in the closet and told Rosalynn to come on over w/ her daughter who I wanted to meet.  I took a few minutes to look at them before she came over.  And I even realized that I ended up with an extra one I could give her.. Musta paid off selling ads and working on the yearbook in class, not to mention babysitting the teacher's sons!!..So I was excited to be able to give her one..  So I'm taking a few minutes down memory lane reading all the notes written by friends during that time.  There was so much I had forgotten about until I re read the  notes that my friends had written to me and about me.  What is it w/ much time can pass and it feels like forever has passed, but then again it can also feel like it hasn't really been all that long since you were living those moments.. And then I started asking myself if I was even remotely close today to being the person I was back then? I had some really nice friends back then who wrote some really nice things about me..  Friends I had since the 8th grade, some I had worked with and even one who later became my brother-in-law.  I was reminded of some rally fun, crazy and some even very difficult times that to this day can send me into a horrific funk if I think about them for very long..
So I have this going through my mind right before they get here..

I also was working on a rough migraine right before they got here.. In fact, I popped my medicine that has such painful and uncomfortable side effects..  However, we sat down and chatted, shared and laughed so hard about those times in the past.. We filled each other in on stuff we didn't know, and on who and what we knew of then and now..What a awesome afternoon!!  And Rasalynn's beautiful daughter was so incredibly gracious of my embarrassing pix.  I wouldhave to guess she night not have been as  forgiving of her mom.. as parents are the ultimate source of embarrassment for children ;D

I still can't believe that I graduated 26 yrs ago.  Where did the time go?  I was remembering that my dad was 48 when I graduated and I am almost 44 today w/a 6 1/2 yr old and 4 yr old!!  One of the best decisions that I have made in a long time was the decision to attend my 25th hs reunion..  About a month prior to the reunion, I joined FaceBook.  In fact, that is how I found out about the reunion.. Several of us were trying to decide if we really wanted to attend.  We had so much FUN!!  Enough time passes by that time that no one is really into fake, false pretenses or even really gives a crap about outdoing anyone else..  it's all about the freedom of just wanting to ahve a good time..

And since then, I have reconnected w/many old friends.  We stay connected on FB and I have even gotten pretty close to some friends that I wasn't that close to back then.  It's been liberating, hysterically funny and a great stress reliever to know that you have connections that nothing can take away.  We were all so very blessed to have grown up in a very innocent and loving environment.  WE cared about each other then and probably even more so now since we have grwon up and learned that really meaningful  friendships are hard to find later in life due to obligations, miles, time and other factors that play into keeping connections distance. 

Whoever said that you can never go home was wrong I think.. You can and can be very good for your heart and life.. But you have to realize that time has passed and things do change.. But it is nice to reconnect with friends to remember the good and even the bad times..  As for the question of if I was even remotely close to the person I was back then?  I think the answer is yes.. Naturally it's an edited version.. some deletions, improvements and changes have occurred, but then I would expect that.. But I do think I may be betta in some places... at least I hope so! And my red pen on myself for self editting has been much more forgiving... =D  And reading notes from friends that said something like "I hope we will always be close".." You can always come to me when life gets too hard after we part this place"..I have tested that one and yes.. it held true..  Miles may part us, but our friendships and love are even stronger..
Even those that were tested to the core have remained on some deeper level.. Forgiveness is freeing~~  I am so blessed..  On a side note:  we re trying to get a girl's weekend away started for yearly excursions.. What fun!!  Actually..way betta than all those years ago..  Woo hoo.. Life is good.. and I'm blessed..but then I already said that didn't I?  And yes,, this did occur during my week from hell..
So the glass is half full!!

Out of the mouths of babes~~

Sunday night's conversation @ the McNicoll household following Rachel coming home from her  weekly AWANA kids church program.  (Mom & Rache are at the kitchen table...Marshes has his headphones on while playing a computer game in the adjoining living room)..  ....  .... background sibling history....  .....: kids are 26 months minus 1 day apart which enhances sibling rivalry and a historic amount of arguments and 'issues'..competition etc....

Mommy:  "Rache, I see where next week everyone is supposed to dress up as their favorite Bible character."  "Do you have a favorite character that you want to dress up as ?"

Rachel:  Not  lingering on answer, "Jesus" "My favorite is Jesus"
Marshall: Not missing a beat..( I didn't even think he could hear us or was even not absolutely enthralled w/his gaming): "Cool Wachee... you picked the best one there is"  .....  pregnant pause , followed by " Hey Wachee~~  You Rock!!"  ( I swear he made it sound like he was about 5 yrs. older than her..)

Followed by mom's bottom jaw dropping almost hitting the floor, immediately followed by a huge look of Shock & Awe at the Huge compliment, praise and acceptance from the one who is usually trying to hurt, hinder and manipulate to epic proportions his little rival.  What the Hell????  I had to leave the room I was laughing so hard and in such shock.. 

And the look of pride and acceptance on Rache's face was PRICELESS!!  She garnered a HUGE compliment and had grown immensely in her brudder's eyes..
WE moved a mountain tonight here folks!!
I'm still in shock.. and now I am trying to figure out how to come up with a Jesus costume for my little performer..  And why wouldn't I figure my little performer and comic would choose no less than the star of the show??  You go girl.. I swear I wish I had the confidence and talent my precious girl has.. She just throws herself out there and doesn't care.. she goes for it..

Now.. I am requesting Jesus costume ideas??  How authintic do we do?  Can Tan??  ;D  ..My girl Rocks!!.. And tonight So does Marshes.. More than he has in a very long time!! What a sweetie.. she needed to hear that and so did I 
 ........and I am preparing myself for the other rocks that will too soon be lodged by both siblings at each other..But for tonight.. all is well in McNicoll-land


What a week~~

What a hell of a week.  It's been a very long time since I've had such a horrific week.  Bad days are to be expected.  But a week when you just want to lay in bed w/the covers over your head in fear of a knock on the door or phone call can be paralyzing.  It started out as (another) 3 day weekend.  School holiday on Monday so we camped out in the living room, watched movies, slept late and later journeyed into a beautiful field of bluebonnets for some fun picture excursions.  I have to admit I feel extremely guilty as this was our first outing in pictureland in bluebonnets.  The fact that my babies come from the motherlode of all bluebonnet fields in Brenham is just mindboggling that it took me 6 yrs. for the photo op!!  Uncalled for in my book!!  So I plan to make this a yearly growth progression to make me cry over the speeding clock and the maximum speed my kids are growing up.

Anyway, so we find the perfect patch for us and head out.. But not before buying new shirts seeing as their others had been outgrown.  The kdis were in the mood to PLAY, however, mom's meticulous photography plans were not.  But I have to give them credit that they did much better than I probably would have.  Maybe it's the almost decade I spent assisting some talented professsionals and have to admit I can stage or get a pretty good composition.  Unfortunately, my skills don't flow into actual picture taking..So it takes me awhile.  So they played, we laughed, I prodded and shot and we got some great laughs in too.  Later I treated them to Happy Meals and me my fix for Cafe Caramel Frappe!  Not 3 minutes later in search of groceries, we were involved in thankfully a minor car collision (and thank you God it wasn't my fault).  So shaken up, we head home and cancel all other planned excursions for the day.. Oh yea.. but not before a HUGE meltdown in disobedience following the disaster.

Tues.. get up.. M to school and getting some great strides accomplished in some business that I had been planning..  Designed some great new business cards, paid some bills and was just beginning to attempt a new website for the business (and squeezing some quality time and activities w/Rache)..Then the knock on the door.  Neighbor comes down to inquire about the location of Doodledog.  Rache had let her out into the backyard about 40 minutes prior to knock.  To cut to the chase, we found Doodles at the doorstep of our neighbors immobie and in an extreme case of shock.  I honestly feared she had been hit by a car and broken her back.  A quick trip to the Vet down the street, waiting to find out What happened, a diagnosis of an viscious animal attack and a very painful heartbreaking decision to lay her down.  She had been ragdolled and received extensive hip injuries as just the beginning.  We later found out it was a dislocated hip which made me feel more comforted in my decision.  By the end of the day, I knew in my heart she was attacked by a coyote that I had seen a couple of weeks before and later confirmed its presence by another neighbor.  I didn't realize what I had seen in the field behind our house ...couldn't even fathom a Coyote in our area??  Anyway, our very funny, friendly and livewire was gone before we even knew it.  It rendered me numb.  I was lost and my high anxiety shot thru the roof..  And the kids kept asking when we were getting another dog.. the same day??  WTH? It drove me nuts..And I knew I would have to have another one very soon..

Weds.  First thing.. realized that the biggest credit card that John paid off came w/a HUGE price.  He forgot that I had paid the IRS, tax prep and he didn't know I made the house note early.  Needless to say, we were $1500 in the hole faster than the govt. spent our grandchildren's trillions!!  And John had bought lots of supplies for the business so Peter wasn't even around to hit up to pay Paul.  Thank God for my folks.. I quick electronic wire to save the day and a good cry made it better.. Thanks folks.. I have always said I was so incredibly blessed w/them.. And I can honestly say I have tried to figure out I hit the lottery when I was blessed w/them in my life.. Isn't it funny how life is such a crap shoot..  I could have just as easily ended up in say Ethiopia w/out a chance at life.. I have been so incredibly blessed..
    So that bullet was dodged only to have Rachel throwing up.. I honestly think it was nerves cause she got very quiet and introspective.  I think seeing Doodles and being there at the Vets (not for the laying down) was starting to impact her.. I HATE that she had to see Doodles that way..

Thurs.. another sleepless night.. mind racing..anxiety accelerating.. Decision made to find another dog and fast.  It just felt right.. That morning I found an ad on Craigslist for a 9 wk Shih Tzu.. only $100.00.. bam.. motherlode..  My sister and niece each have one and the kids and I are crazy over Zoe and Bella..  So I call, I clean (yes.. I did say wasn't a typo) and waited till we could bust Marshes out of school for a puppy road trip..  Forgot to mention that my pleurisy went into high gear again after the wreck.. And it was only getting worse.. so I knew that my health was going down hill fast..  Decided to not even ask Juanito if I could get one.. I knew that was an argument, fight and headache just brewing.. He didn't ask me what I thought about his yearly squirrel hunting trip when Marshes was only 5 wks old and sickly/collicky!!  Paybacks my friends are hell.. This gander does cash in those chips when needed..  Spiteful? Yep! But oh so worth it.. We all immediately feel in love w/ our newest family member, Butterball.. our cream & brown Shih Tzu.. oh yea.. and she's even full blooded.. for $100!!  What a bargain shopper I am..(back patting)..

Fri.. So the week is finally looking up..  Bout time..  The kids were sick off and on.. What I now realize was a virus.. I haven't slept in a week...but I have this little shadow that is adorable and is the biggest snuggle bunny I have ever seen.. Now..if I can just get her to stay in the crate.. yea right!!  So we are still mourning Doodles, still gotta get estimates to repair my car, and moving forward through the fog that life presents at times..  I was absolutely unprepared for the butt whooping this week.. Never saw it coming.. Just as I think Doodles was.. She loved to roam..she chose to dig out and paid the highest price.. But she was the happiest, craziest, and sweet puppa I have had.  Never hurt a soul and always left you laughing!!  Rainbow Ranch has jsut gotten way more livelier!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

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Sunday, April 4, 2010