Things I have learned thus far...

#1: No matter how many gray hairs I pull out~~ They will still grow back and they multiply like rabbits..

#2: I'm a chicken-shit. I've had 2 hair color boxes (not 1 mind you) to conceal those wayward hairs. I have consulted professionals, friends and professional friends (no I don't pay them to be my friend!) And it surprises me that I bought them and I still pull those strands out. They say that God even knows how many hairs we have on our head.. I've always somewhat of a non-conformist.. let Him work a little.. lol What bothers me is that I am not vain. Probably one of the people who could use just a tad of vanity. Yes, I realize that I am the walking billboard for "what Not to wear".. I adore comfort and have always stood behind that premise. The days when I had to dress up and play a part were some of my mom's favorites I believe cause I at least looked half decent on most days.

So getting back to the hair dye. Maybe it's the underlying fear of my hair turning oh say the color ... green? My luck.. it would turn some hideous color or burn and fall out. But I just can't justify spending $60.00 every other week for vanity. So I find myself in a quandry.

Actually, I met a mom who found herself here in Podunkville having been transplanted from the great city of San Francisco. She and her spouse are very creative and I admire them alot. She wears her hair streaked w/ pink on dark brownish-red and it's cute and funky. She wears the brightest and most unique outfits w/ converse shoes. She has a style all her own. And I was blown away when she told me she's only 4 yrs. younger than me!! I had her pegged for mid-twenties. She's the mom of two very well-behaved twins (boy and girl) and they are sweet, polite and I've never seen them raise their voice or misbehave. Now I ask you is that right? She's outnumbered and they are so good. The more I think about it.. maybe that's why she looks so young. Her children are not wasting their days concocting totally devious and anarchistic methods to torture Their mom.. Mine and all the rest that I have come across do these and worse behaviors to gain the upper hand in the domestic affairs of their family structure. I'm sorry.. that's just not normal!! Maybe she really rents these kids to make the rest of us feel totally inadequate in our parenting skills. that would explain the model behavior at all times. For gosh sakes.. they are twins.. and any combination of more than 2 siblings realize from an ealry age that there sole purpose on this earth is to make their parents totally nuts and overwhelmed w/ their needy and totally selfish and narcisist ways. ..sucking every living ounce of energy out of thier outnumbered and insufficient parentling methods.

Wait.. now I know Why the grays are outnumbering the dark browns.. Maybe I should use the rugrats as lab rats and test the dye on them. The box does say you must test the product before using. So I can let their hair turn green.. which would totally rock for them right now since they are into dressing up as monsters at the moment. But do I Want them to enjoy it?? Now that's the question to ponder now.

#3: After 7 1/2 yrs. of totally wasted higher education.. I learned from Interior Design "Form follows function".. what ever the hell that means? I still don't get that.. so that must be why I'm not using that jewel.

From my minor of forced Art: Which I hated every moment of... "The stranger you can get and more abstract the work.. the better the grade!!". Now why is it only during my last semester did this little gem hit me in the head like a meteor falling from the sky? My GPA sucks due to the fact that I never saw the humility in a painting.. and crap still loooks like crap to me.. but don't ever say that to an art instructor.. and that "throwing pottery clay" on a muscle killing manual spinning wheel would have a better chance of becoming a great piece of art if I just threw the damn stuff at the wall and cover w/ terrifically colored glaze? My GPA is marked for eternity by my artless failures instead of the totally custom and imagination wanderings into design!!

If you ask me to this day what nugget of priceless knowledge gave would best be described in
"Whiskey on beer.. never fear
Beer on Whisley..kinda risky"!!!

And these days of my daily struggles through the wild and unpredictable journeys into the un chartered (ok by me) wilderness of trying to tame the wild beasts.. it can come in righteously handy at the end of the day.. or on those even harder days before my husband can come home (from his hunting and gathering escapades that's vital to our livelihood) to save me from the little unappreciative animals they can be and the torture they can perform.

#4: I will NEVER NEVER get enough sleep ever again!! And you can function the next day if your head never hit the pillow the night before. In college, that was fun and you could easily bounce back. Now.. not so much fun and the bouncing is more like a long and torturous sllooowww drag that go bump bump whack to only be accented by a totally devasting and painful day w/ the kids who have the natural instinct to go in for the kill. The slightest smell of a migraine. lack of sleep or whatever will incite the kids to crank up the torture to the ninth degree. And I will survive.. even though on those days.. death doesn't sound so bad after all..

This caught my eye

"The hero is the one who rekindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by. The saint is the man who walks through the dark paths of the world, himself a light." Felix Adler

k'doodles: It Whispers & Can Kill#links

k'doodles: It Whispers & Can Kill#links

http://ovariancancer.jhmi.edu/menu_understanding.cfm

It Whispers & Can Kill

This is a most serious post.. And if you don't read anything else.. please please please check this one out. I am quite passionate about this cause. I have yet to buy a shirt or bracelet. However, now might be a really good time to do so and keep my word. This time last yr. I was one day past a major surgery that was a huge eye opener for me and my life. A significant health problem very quickly turned into the biggest scare of my life. We were running tests to see if my health issues might turn out to be ovarian cancer. Up until that point, life with a 1 1/2 yr. old and a 3 1/2 yr old was very disconcerting in the fact that they had the run of the house. I was helpless in having to take massive amounts of ibuprophen and lay on the couch w/my feet propped up high. And boy did those 2 take advantage of the situation.

Little did I know that that was majorly MINOR in contrast to the possible diagnosis. The urgency of the health scare led me to my Dr's office only to have him in surgery for the day. So another Dr. ( one I highly admire) performed an ultrasound and blood work. I saw the image the ultrasound showed and became very scared when he told me the blood work was a cancer screen.

I have always heard that when a person hears the words "Cancer" or the "big C" your blood pressure rises immensely and fears becomes real. Calm was what I needed.. My reaction was to ask questions to try and affirm it really wasn't that bad. When they corrected me with the words "No, Ovarian Cancer" my blood ran cold, only I was sweating and shaking and about in a state of panic. I didn't know much.. but what I did know scared the HELL out of me. My memory burned of Gilda Radner and the foundation I had read about that her husband, Gene Wilder had founded in her Memory. What I did know was that this was the ONE cancer you Didn't want.. that the survival rate was very very low. They sent me for the blood work .. my teeth were chattering and how I didn't baptize the entire lab w/ my pulsating blood I will never know. Cause my pressure was off the charts I do know. The blood was taken.. I then walked to my car numb and called John. I HAD to see him NOW!! Luckily, he was working not too far from the office. What I do remember was him hugging me and reassuring me it would turn out ok. The tears flowed and I stood their embracing him for dear life.

The two days that followed were completely out of this world. There would be moments when I could maintain a pt. of calm.. But then, I would look at Marshall and Rachel and have to leave the room so they wouldn't see me cry. What I did know was that pretty much the longest survival rate could be 5 yrs. Somehow I had read that and had remembered it. Before leaving the Dr's office, I scheduled an appt. w/ my Dr. in two days. Again, the urgency was very un nerving to my shattered emotions. The night before the appt. I couldn't sleep. And being the 'puter addict that I am I researched my problem. What an eye opening and completely life changing read did I absorb. Unfortunately, I had listened and recalled almost every word and remembered the ultrasound. The prognosis looked about as bleak as I could see. My case fit the description of the only 5 yr. survival rate in front of my eyes. It was 3 am. and all I could do was silently cry.

I never told John what I had read, but he could tell I was stressed to the max by the time we got to the Dr's office.

The minute my eyes looked into my Dr's I started streaming tears.. Words wouldn't come out of my mouth. My Dr. was very surprised and asked what was wrong. When I told him what I had seen and the situation.. the look on his face I will never forget. He felt terrible. He knew that what I saw fit perfectly. He apologized for putting me thru that ordeal and felt so bad at what he realized I had gone through the last two days. He said he was very certain that the image was just blood and not another mass. And he would get the blood work results immediately in which he did. When he ran another ultrasound his theory was proved to be correct and the blood tests also came back negative. Praise the Lord!!

We decided to schedule a hysterectomy soon. There was absolutely no question, hesitation or remote sad feeling about this one. The sooner the better.. I never wanted to go through the past two days of hell ever again.. No chance of it ever being able to occur.

I was lucky. So very lucky.. For it could have turned out so differently. This yr. 26,000 women will be diagnosed with this disease. And 16,000 will die. If caught early, there is a 90% rate of survival. 78% of those cases diagnosed were found after the cancer had spread. And fewer than 25% will survive 5 yrs. See the five years was the good number.. This killer is vicious and they call it the silent killer because so many times it's not diagnosed soon enough. A woman has to really be in tune w/ her symptoms in order to catch it. And the symptoms are so common.. you might think you were stressed or had a virus. Just be in tune w/ your body and listen to your intuition.

Please read the following link to Johns Hopkins and please further your knowledge by googling ovarian cancer. Help educate yourself and others.. Women shouldn't be dying from something they don't even know they can die from. If this blog saves one life and preventing the ultimate scare I went through then it was all worth it. And please consider donating to this cause. It is severely underfunded and only knowledge and funds can help.

nice surprise

I thought it was a nice surprise to find our spider lily had finally decided to bloom after years of being dormant. My mom gave me these bulbs almost 12 yrs ago and it has been ages since we have seen a bloom. It is refreshing to see them as we transition into the next phase of our lives, with Marshall going to school, me getting to spend time w/Rachel more, John as busy as usual and possibly attending a new/old (previous) church.

They grace the entrance to our house and have always brought me such joy. My personality usually lends itself to the more unusual things..I supppose you could say to the uniqueness.. out of the ordinary.. It's still blazing hot, but we have this to remind us that Fall is coming and hopefully some reprieval from this scorching heat. I am more than ready..

"Life is no brief candle to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment,

and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations"

George Bernard Shaw